Journals for 2001-2002

2001

These two years have been very monumental in our lives. Beginning in January of 2001, Harry was having trouble with his plumbing system. The last of January, he completely stopped up and we had to go to the emergency room at the hospital in Duncan. I happened to still be working but was thinking of retiring soon. I couldn’t make up my mind. At the ER they inserted a catheter and he was OK. We came home with the catheter and were told to wait until the next day to take it out. The next day I took it out and he still couldn’t go. So like a good nurse, I tried to reinsert the catheter. I did, but he got no relief so we went to see D. Buntley, the Urologist to see the problem. Well, the problem was that the catheter was into the prostate and bleeding so had to be removed and replaced. Dr. Buntley said give him 4 hours and if he still couldn’t void to bring him back in. So that is what we did. He placed a catheter with a bag and said he would schedule him for surgery immediately. That he did. This was the first for Harry in a long time, but he was ready to get some permanent relief. He did not give him any physical except some blood work. We went in the next day for Surgery. It was one day; surgery so we came home that afternoon and all went well.  We saw Dr. Buntley the next day for the removal of the catheter.  All went well for 3 weeks. On the Thursday we were to report for the last checkup with Buntley, Harry had severe pain in his right groin. I looked at it and said, “you have a hernia”. He didn’t think so but he hurt so bad we again, went to the ER. When the ER doc looked at it he said we would try to put it back in. They had to give him three shots of Morphine and the pain still didn’t go away. Two Doctors finally reduced it and his pain went away. I felt so helpless and told them to get Dr. Weedn. They contacted Dr. Buntley since he had just had the other surgery. Then we got an appointment with Weedn the next day. That was a long night as we just hoped it would not come out again. He lay pretty carefully all night. When Weedn saw him and examined him, he said why didn’t’ Buntley find this?  I told him he didn’t’ check for it. Any way, he was leaving town, but said it had to be fixed the next day so it was scheduled for Friday morning the 6th of March. The last one had been on Feb 5th, I think that was the date. My memory fails “sometimes”.

Again we entered the hospital for Surgery after three different times being given to us. But we knew it would get done because R.J. Weedn gets his way in Surgery. Again a catheter was inserted after the surgery and by the time we were to go home, he still had not voided so with Lillian DePlacido’s insistence and mine, Dr. Jones let us stay overnight. I came home and Josh was here and stayed the night at the hospital with him. He got in from Norman about 9 PM and made me go home to rest. About noon then we came home after leaving the catheter in for another day, he was able to void and had no more trouble. This was quite a time for both of us. Not nearly so bad as the Stroke was, however.

I had about decided to have my cataracts done too this year before I retired. I took a week off both times Harry had surgery so still had plenty of time to take off for my surgery. As soon as he was able to drive and felt well enough, I scheduled my first cataracts to be done the last of may. By the way in April after Harry’s surgery and before mine, we had a wedding. Josh and Miranda decided to get married before school was out. It was a time to get it all together as they wanted to be married when school was out in may and have some time. So April 22, Easter Weekend, they were married in Hobart. Gwen and Gene, along with our motorhome were parked at the Bed and Breakfast outside of Hobart. Everyone in the family stayed there.  We took the motorhome into the town and parked it by the church for the rehearsal and wedding. It was a lovely wedding and everyone but Larry was there. Jill was so helpful getting the decorations for the Rehearsal dinner. She did most of it with my help as Sue was already wiped out nearly. I got many lovely pictures. And we missed Larry so much, but he was in the middle of Easter Music and could not leave the church. Jill Jonathan and Christine drove through from Denver. After the wedding I was ready for Surgery. I had one eye done and couldn’t believe the difference in sight. I wish now, that I had not had the other one done as I could see better close up with it and I have not been able to really read well with the glasses I was fitted. I will be returning for my annual checkup right away (this is July 1, 2002 now)

I did well after the first surgery and decided to have the other one done in 3 weeks so I did. When my glasses were fitted, it took three times and the last ones were not even fitted to my face. I would not go back to him, but since he did the surgery, I think I need to see him once more.  By the time all our surgeries were over, I had decided to retire in September. So the summer went fast. I turned in my resignation the last of July for September 1. Then we had decided to go to Colorado as soon as I was finished. Someway the times got all mixed up and I retired the 24th of August. I had made my plans with the retirement manager to get my annuity set up to pay me about $200.00 a month that I was pleased with. I had a lot of paid days off coming and the hospital had to pay me for those. So all in all, I had about $25000.00 available on my annuity for the rest of my life. That was to be deposited into my account at the bank monthly. We felt good about that, as I had worked the previous 20 years for no retirement. This amount was due to the Hospital participating in the plan for us to put 8% of our salary into the plan and I had 100% vested in this so got the total amount. The only problem was that I had not worked enough to get a whole lot. If I had worked full time, there would have been much more. That is water under the bridge now, and we are thankful for any amount we can get at this point.

My retirement was a big decision for me. I have given 50 odd years to the Hospital, Nursing Home, and Health Department in Duncan. It was hard for me to give up my life, and it was a big part of my life, to spend 24 hours a day with my husband. This I had never done before. Each of us had some friends, but by now most of the ones we knew best had died. I really have two good friends, Jessie and Nadine. yes many more who are friends, but not someone you can bear your heart to. Nadine and I have worked together for over 30 years side by side in Surgery. And become friends in every way possible to share our lives with each other. Her husband was not a communicable person and neither was Harry. Newt had had heart bypass surgery and Harry a stroke. Both these conditions changed their personalities. Harry was surprising me everyday with new ideas, some good, some not so good. Since he became a diabetic, he had to change some things.

However his eating habits only changed for a few years and then was pretty well back to the normal for him. It didn’t seem to make much difference in his blood sugar readings. I am sorry to say that I don’t like to cook and he is used to cooking and eating when he gets ready, as well as getting up at night and cooking breakfast at 2 or 4 AM. For many years, even in the motor home, the smoke alarm might go off at any time during the night when he decided to cook something. It was hard getting nights sleep under these circumstances. I would get very upset after the third time the alarm would go off and get up and growl and growl at him, then go back to bed. It was a hard time. This is the time when your love carries you through. If I didn’t love him so much and he has been so good to me through the years, I would have reason to leave. In all my 56 years, I have never once even thought about leaving. Our love has grown stronger and more tolerant as we live longer. So many of the deaths we read in the paper are people younger than we are. Everyday we thank God we are still here together. So many of my church friends have already lost their mates and we still have each other.

God has been good to us to give us two children and five grandchildren and the added benefit of one great granddaughter at the present time. Our children are very attentive and we are grateful for that. They have blessed us in more ways than we could begin to count. Our prayer today is that the riff between the families can be cleared up and we can be a real family again soon.

After my surgeries and retirement party that was very nice, things began to change. Everyone wished me well and we left to Denver. I did forget to say that we had decided until we could sell the motorhome, I could not retire.  So in May of last year we sold it, I think in 2000. We were able to pay of

the lien on it and got a small Mobile Traveler in trade. It was a wreck. So much was wrong with it. Harry spent close to $2000. Before we got it in shape to resell. Then we couldn’t sell it. We had it over a year and took only one trip in it to Ft Worth where a water pipe broke and cost us $95.00 just to fix that. We never took it on the road again. It was really a headache.

I forgot to talk about Eddie’s death. As soon as my retirement was done and we were in Denver, Fred called and said Eddie had come back from Florida and was in the Hospital in Oklahoma City very ill. We talked to Peggy every day to check on him and stayed the length of time we had planned and returned home. We went to Oklahoma City as soon as we returned and he was gravely ill. We felt it would be the end soon. We returned again two days later to spend the day then

Gwen and I spent the night .He was there about two weeks and passed away.  Fred called us from Houston to tell us. Peggy never called us or let us know anything about him. We did all the checking at least twice a day while we were in Denver. Later she told Sue over the phone that Harry didn’t come to see Eddie the last two weeks he lived. I think Peggy did not realize he was going to die and she took so much medicine she hardly knew what was going on. Finally the week before he died, the doctor told them there was not anything else they could do for him, because he was in a coma then. We were there just the last day before he died too. I will never understand

Peggy and feel bad that she had such a negative attitude toward us. I did everything I could to apologize for over 8 months, and she still won’t speak to me at all, so I quit trying. It upset me every time that I tried to talk to her and she would not talk to me. She talks to everyone but us, and we have accepted it. Enough about that. It is July 2002 and he died September 16th 2001 and we have not spoken to either her or to George. George and Marilyn also upset with us about things that happened 60 years ago so we have no control over either of these situations and just pray that God will get us through the serious one we face today with our children. So the years kept on coming. Julia and Jason were planning their marriage the last of May next year. So all of us began to think that way. Thanksgiving, I decided I would invite all the families here for Thanksgiving Dinner. We ask the Wagners, the Leinens, and the Vaughns to share with us. Larry and Jill and family, Don and Sue and family, Josh and Miranda, and Abigail, the whole extended family was here. It was a lovely day and beautiful weather. God blessed us that day. It may be the last time we can all share a meal together, but God can change that and will in His time.

Christmas came that year and we were invited up to Nadine and Newt McLain’s for Christmas dinner. It was enjoyable since both our children had other plans. Josh and Miranda went to Houston so that Sue had all her family there in Katy. Jason also went there. With the first of the New Year coming things began to get urgent for wedding plans. Sue was up here right after New Years. She went to Bartlesville and OKC for plans to be made with everyone there. She spent part of the time here with us too. She could only do so much without rest. There was very little I could do to help, since she was trying to please Julia with everything and sometimes they did not see things the same way. Larry and Jill sent Julia the money for her wedding dress as they said they had no other niece and wanted to do that for her. It was so generous of them. At the time it was a sacrifice for them because Larry’s business had gone from a $200,000 income to a $60,000 one. But they wanted to do this. Christy had had some problems that had taken a great deal of money and other things too. During this time, we were getting over Eddie’s death last September and Peggy’s denial of us, which was hard on us.

2002

January came and our church was having many problems. We traveled so much to Ft Worth to Gwen and Gene’s house that we were out of town a lot. We have been praying for many months as to what we should do about moving from Duncan. We had had no direction and with Eddie gone there was no reason to stay here. One Sunday morning in March as I got up to eat breakfast. Harry told me his plan. Understand, he gets up around 4 AM and thinks and sleeps until I rise about 7:30. I sat down at the kitchen table with my coffee and he said, ” I have decided what we should do, we should move to Itasca”. You can imagine my surprise. We had talked of this for a long time, but never really considered it. Sue wanted us to move down near Houston, and I didn’t think I could take the humidity there. Larry had no “druthers”.  He knew we didn’t want to live in Denver. I said to Harry, “When did you decide this?” He said I have been thinking about it a long time. We have Gwen in  Ft Worth, Troy and Mary in Tyler, and George and Missy in Glen Rose. We have Sue only a few hours away and they could come up on a weekend easily. It sounded practical. Another thing, we have burial plots there, where we can be buried in the plot with Mother and Daddy Pruitt and Grandmother and Grandpapa Thomason and Uncle Clay. It would cost quite a bit to move bodies from Duncan to Itasca for burial too. Again it sounded practical. So I said OK; I did not know that he had already thought it all out and would have an auction within a month. He said “I will call Lynn Parr in the morning and set up the auction and list the house.”  It all happened so fast. I went to Sunday School that morning and told my class to pray for me. My husband had just decided to move to Texas. We certainly needed direction from the Lord at this point.

Lynn came out Tuesday and set up the auction for April 6th. We listed the house and he said he would sell it at the auction also with the two pieces begun, frantically to pack and go through everything deciding what to sell at the auction. We thought it best to sell everything we could to get the cash for what we didn’t want to move. What a job as well as big decisions. This had been our home for 32 years and we had been in Duncan for 56 years, a long time. However most of our friends were gone or we seldom see any of them. Just Nadine and Newt and Jessie along with my SS class. Harry had been going to the class that Randy Southerland taught and I had been going with him there.

We signed the contracts for the sales and agreed to give Lynn 6 months to sell the house. Also on that same week I called my friend in Itasca, James Sumner who has some real estate dealings and ask him to look for us a house. He called later and then next weekend we went down and looked around. It looked pretty bleak. He couldn’t get hold of the man who owned the Leroy Buie house. It was a good house, but needed lots of work on it. While we were in Itasca I visited with Fred Mc Pherson who lived next door to the house we were looking at, but thought it had been sold. Later that week after we were home, I had a letter from Kay Layer, the lady who owned the house across the street from Fred. Now Fred had known me all my life and  had told Geraldine Williams (who had also know me since childhood), that I was looking for a house. Gerry called Mrs. Layer in San Antonio and ask her if she wanted to sell her mothers house next door. Mrs. Layer immediately wrote to me since she wanted to move her mother out of the Itasca Nursing Home to be closer to her. I called her and told her we were definitely interested.

The following weekend, we returned to Itasca to see the houses that James had found us to look at. We didn’t tell him about the Layer-Curlee house because it was not on the market. However we were to meet him at noon on Sunday to see the houses. Of course we went very early as we stayed in Ft Worth the night before. We were so anxious. We had no idea that Mrs. Layer would even be in Itasca that day. We drive up to the house and there was her car in the garage. She was in her robe and still invited us in. She is a lovely person and so glad to see us. We visited and looked the house over and she told us she definitely wanted to sell and move her mother to San Antonio. By church time we were ready to leave so we went to the church and slipped in. It was good to be in the church there with a housefull. We had visited the pastor on our last visit to tell him our plans. He recognized us when we came in and greeted us from the pulpit. We actually sat down next to Ralph Bailey, one of the few people left that we would have known. When church was over they invited us to have lunch with them at the church. We were short on time, but we did eat with them. It was a lovely luncheon and we saw Amanda Upchurch Cranfull. She was one of Sue’s friends she played with in Itasca in the summers. After the lunch was over we met with James Sumner and he showed us the houses that he had and nothing even held a candle to the one on Beard Street that we were looking at. So we told him we just weren’t interested in any of the ones he had shown us. Going back up to see Mrs. Layer, we told her we would see what we could do about a loan to carry us over till we could sell our house. Leaving Itasca we checked with the bank there and they said they would loan us the money to make a bridge loan. We made many mistakes at this time because we just didn’t know how to do things. WE know now we should have just borrowed money on the house in Itasca and not tied up our house here. But we didn’t. God has a plan for us, we are sure about it and He will reveal it in His time. He provided the Itasca house and he will provide a buyer for our house here.

We are paying a monthly loan payment now and will see how things work out. I get disappointed sometimes as to why it is taking so long, but our time is not God’s time. Sue has been after us to have an open house and try to get some more improvements on the house, such as a new sink in the front bath and paint and carpet, but we just don’t feel that we can do that at this time. We had so hoped it would sell before school started and I am clinging to the faith it will. It is hard for the children to tell us to do these things that we have made mistakes on and know that we did wrong, but we are doing the best we can under the circumstances.

This is July 27,2002 and the house has not sold. However this does not deter us. We continue to go down about every three weeks and take some more things. We are planning to leave on Monday to go straight to Itasca and unload and do some more putting away. I am taking some of my summer clothes so we don’t have to pack too much of a bag. We are taking a sweeper and the tops of the marble top dressers along with Mothers old sewing machine. Believe it or not we have it all in the van. Also a microwave that Harry found at a garage sale that works. It has been hard down there not having a microwave or a dishwasher. The dishwasher is no problem, as I still know how to wash dishes. It is so nice down there that it is such a pleasure to be there and I had rather be there than here. Well that is about all for now.

As we were getting ready for this trip, Gwen called and said she had a nodule in her other breast. Biopsy or removal of the nodule would be next week. Of course, our plans were changed. We went on to Itasca and unloaded and returned to Ft Worth for the surgery. We waited until the word came that it was malignant. She needed to be with her children so we came on back to Duncan. We have kept in touch with them and the surgery is scheduled for August 13, 2002. This has been traumatic to all of us since the death of Eddie has been less than a year away. Both of us feel God has blessed us so much with the few aches and pains we have at the present time.

I worry about Harry though as he has now decided to have a 5th wheel attachment in the back of his pickup so that he can use Mr. Mc’s trailer to move the rest of our stuff. While we were gone the last time someone wanted to see the house and Lynn couldn’t find the key in the window of the carport so couldn’t show it. We are afraid he is not going to sell it by the time his contract runs out. It is disheartening to continue with no one even looking at it. But I still believe that God is in control and will send a buyer or let us know we should sell the house in Itasca. I still believe that He planned this whole situation and have faith He will se us through it. I just pray that Sue and Larry’s family can get their differences straightened out before long. One of the children is not telling the truth or will not admit to what really happened. I do not know which one it is, but both parents think their child is telling the truth and I suppose that is the way it should be. It just makes it so hard on us not to talk with them as we always have. I pray God will straighten that out soon too.  Well it is bedtime again and I had better call it a day. Sissy has already come out to go to bed. I see she is on top of one of the pillows on my bed. She likes the big pillows and Harry has gone to bed hours ago in the other bedroom. That makes it easier for me to sleep later than 4 AM. However he was outside this morning taking the tailgate off the pickup and making terrible noise before 6 AM. So I was up by 7 then.

In September 2002, our contract with Lynn was out and we had agreed to sell the north 5 acres to Mr. McCauley for $5000. We worked out that agreement and then signed with Kay’s Real Estate. Sue came and visited with Susan Shaffer there and came away feeling like she was the one to list it with. So we called her and she signed us up for a 3 months contract to sell. I did a few things that Sue and Susan thought I should. Cleaning was the big thing and we had most of the furniture out of the house by this time. We had a box springs and frame with linens in the big bedroom. Daddy had a new roof put on the carport and a new guard rail on the front porch. Eddie built the one we had and we wanted to take it with us . We tried to have it very presentable with candles and the plates set on the table for showing. They showed and showed it and showed it some more. We came on back to Texas and just left enough stuff there to be able to stay when we came up. Daddy was not content unless we went back every two or three weeks. So we were one the road most of the time.

I ran off in the ditch in the van one day coming home and hurt my back. We were planning to go to Denver the middle of October, so I wouldn’t go to the doctor. Daddy was driving me up the wall with his buying and selling and Nadine and I felt he needed something to slow him down.